Epic Failure:Foxy King
by xXxsilvermusicxXx
Summary: Foxy is a stone fox that wanted to become a hokage one day. He found a great, Iruka sensei, who taught him everything, and named him Naruto...and from that day on, he faced numerous challenges and trials...but nothing prepared him when he met the monk
1. Chapter 1

**Fanfic: Naruto**

**Title: Epic Failure: Foxy king**

**SasukexXxNaruto**

**Genre: Yaio**

**Disclaimer: You know the drill…I don't own Naruto or Sasuke or any of the characters mentioned below even how much I want to [tough luck:]**

**Note: I just have my Mandarin class and was forced to have a book report on Journey to the West…It was so interesting I was hooked, so here's a crossover of Journey to the West and Naruto…hope you enjoy!**

**Note; Yup, I know the foxy-thing sucks but what the heck…**

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><p><strong>Chapter 1: Prologue<strong>

From a mountain of Citrus Flower and Orange, a stone fox was born out of the magic stone that achingly resembles four distinct faces of oh-so-beautiful men (except for the third one…Goumen Third, just being honest here) and he called himself Foxy [told you it sucks]. All the fox gathered around him and being idiotic and all, they made him king, [why else would they made a newborn complete stranger be their leader?] and began calling him Handsome Foxy King, which suit Foxy just fine.

Of course, his dream did not just end there, he has great [huge/enormous/gigantic] dream and that is to be a Hokage! He doesn't know what's that but he knew that it's the highest position ever, so he's going to be that. So he went to a journey to find a sensible sensei and found one, Pu-ti Su Yi, Iruka sensei.

Iruka accepted Foxy, but finding his name…well, um disturbing in the least…change it and named him Naruto. He was actually a very diligent student [he meant annoyingly persistent], it wasn't surprising when Naruto was able to master Somersault that can make him leap as high as heaven [unfortunately, he needed Kakashi on this technique to be on full force, of course with the deadly Hidden Leaf Hand sign from behind…literally, you know what I mean ], and the 72 images changes that can transform him to different things and beings of any size [Transform Technique], and also how he can pluck hair from, everywhere I think [I meant fur, remember, fox? duh!] and turn them into an army of Naruto [Kagebunshin no jutsu].

Being grateful and all, he left eventually and went back to his Cave where the other monkeys reside, he taught them how to fight. Of course Naruto, the Handsome Foxy King [he still couldn't let go of his ego-I mean former title] needed a weapon so his second-in-command, Konohamaru suggested that the Water Dragon King, Zabusa could give him a special weapon.

Determined, he went to Zabusa's underwater palace, of course he was welcomed at first, being a self-proclaimed king afterall, gives you merit…but when he heard that the fox is after a special weapon, he went to challenge Naruto. He gave him weapons impossible to carry, but each one dissatisfies our hero, so at last, Zabusa, the Dragon King presents him an amazingly huge weapon called Rasen-Shuriken.

No one was able to carry the oversized shuriken, but Naruto just hold it in one hand and fallen in-loved with it [in fact, he used it in every finishing move in every enemy he encounter in every season, same thing happened in Kagebunshin, and Rasengan, he probably has OC or something], anyway, he wants to try it out, so he used it and almost knocked down Haku, the dragon king's wife. Then he left.

To cut the long story short, the king got angry, he complained at the Jade Emperor, Orochimaru, and with his two other counsel, Goddess Guanyin, Tsunade and The Great White Planet, Jiraya, they send hoards of army to defeat Naruto, but Naruto came victorious. He was given the title "The Great Naruto Bridge", as long as there's the "great" part, he's happy. And they decided to give Naruto a post at the Heaven Palace [which really doesn't makes sense, but somehow this appeases Naruto and he agreed]

But Naruto suddenly became relentless, with the Kyuubi, [that's what he called to his nine tails] itching and twitching and making him hungry and everything. So he ate the celestial peaches at the garden, all the food at the Queen Kabuto's peach banquet as well as the liquor [okay, he might look like a minor but he's already over a hundred] , and even the pills of immortality.

The Emperor is so angry; he waged war between Heaven and Citrus Flower and Orange Mountain, and guessed what? The mountain has a freaking chance.

But when the Emperor asked the Great Buddha, Sarotobi for help, Naruto has zero chance at all. He was locked inside a celled room on top of a mountain with a seal on top and there he will wait for 500 years for a monk to set him free, well that's what Goddess Tsunade said.

So he waited

And waited

And waited

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><p><em>End of Chapter 1<em>

**Okay, so the next chapter I promise to make sure that they do have dialogues. And yeah, the story is way different than the original book, so I recommend that you also read Journey to the West by Wu Chung En, it's a nice read. And please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Fanfic: Naruto**

**Title: Epic Failure: Foxy king**

**SasukexXxNaruto**

**Genre: Yaio**

**Disclaimer: You know the drill…**

**Chapter 2: I Waited for this?**

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><p>Someone kicked my cell. I heard him, almost felt the thud as each time that person disturbed the weeds at my earthen prison. Oh, I was sleeping? Heh, that's a nice thought. He haven't able to sleep for…well, no need to count the days…he stopped counting when he reached a thousand. He's just afraid to doze off. Who knows, he might be unconscious when his savior arrives.<p>

Imagine that, the great Naruto, The Handsome Foxy King, needs a savior. He almost laughed at himself if not for the moss covering his body, even inside his mouth. Hmm, taste like chicken.

"Wake up, Baka! I didn't hike a damn mountain just to hear you sleep talk!"

This made him wide awake, like he was suddenly doused in cold water. His eyes need a little adjustment until he saw the man in front of him…then he laughed!

"What's so damn funny?" the dark-haired man, [or was it a boy? He looks young though,] asked irritated.

"Nothing, nothing" he said wiping away tears that forms from his eyes 'cause of laughing so hard "it's just that…you're wearing a dress!" and he continued his hysterical laughter which infuriated the man more.

"It's a fucking robe! Can't you see I'm a monk?" wait, that stopped Naruto. A monk? He scrutinized the cross-dresser [I'm not a freaking cross-dresser!] closely trying to remember what is it about monks that's so important to him that he wrote it all over his cell. I mean really, look at his cell. Then it hit him.

"Monk?"

"What? Never seen one before?"

"Well, besides that." Naruto dismissed, then asked "Anyway, do you happen to know a certain Old Granny Goddess named Tsunade?" The monk just nod, still not paying attention to the prisoner. "And did Baa-chan told you to climb the top of this mountain to find a disciple who happens to have a track record of making everyone pissed off, including the gods?" Again, he nods, somewhat losing his patience. "And are you going to the west to find some scriptures and be famous, but not so much as one of your disciples (ahem), so that someone can write your story in a very unrealistic way?" The monk didn't answer, trying to hold on his irritation for at least a couple more seconds.

"Ohh, then you're probably "the" monk!"

The monk said "You psychic or something?" sarcastically.

The fox leap to his feet and made a bow "Name's Naruto, The Foxy King, at your service. Now go take the seal off at the top and I'll be at your beck and call for the rest of the trip!"

"And why will I do that?" The raven answered.

Naruto's jaw dropped open, say what? "You have no plan on releasing me?"

"What'll I gain from that? From the looks of things, I might be better off without you."

No freaking way! This ain't part of Baa-chan's contract "I'm Naruto for crying out loud! The journey is filled with demons and dangers and demons and demons! How the heck do you think you'll survive without a bodyguard or something?"

"Who needs a bodyguard who's much weaker?" he said smugly, "And anyway, I still have three more extras coming. I don't need you."

Whoah, that shoot right at the gut, straight to the pride the size of Mount Olympus. "That's it! Get me outta here and I'll show you who's going to fuck up! You low-class cosplayer!"

A nerve broke at the monk. "Who's cosplaying! Look at you, you overloaded Usuratonkachi! You look like a skeleton slash planet-of-the-apes mutant slash idiot who happens to swallow a freaking cat!"

A what? Does that make any sense, anyone?

A hand grabbed the monk's arm and yanked him to the cell's bar. Naruto kept him press to the cell, not loosening his grip. "Listen here, you fucking ass. I've been sucked up for 500 years, that's 6000 months, 24 000 weeks, 168 000 days! I'm sick and tired of eating and drinking nothing but dirt! And I have never taken a bath, even once! Or have a decent conversation except for myself until you came along! And I have never…ever…touched a women in a long run…do you understand? So let me out, or I'll fuck you so hard it'll rip you apart!"

"What good that'll give you?" the monk answered, straightforwardly. Not even flinching at the threats he just spat at his face. The man even said it in a mocking tone, like he's actually enjoying his outburst.

Defeated and dejected right at the bone, he let go and just continued his sleep. "Pah, just go already. If you just want some amusement, go find it in somewhere else." Now he's really done for. He has no time for sadists right now, afterall he has eternity to contemplate how immortals can commit suicide, which might literally take forever.

"Oi, Naruto."

He ignored him

"Idiot."

That's just it! He'll kill that bastard to shreds! Frustrated, he punched the earthen bars that restrain him from the outside world and just like that, it broke…

It broke…

I am free..?

I am free?

Joy, almost similar to ecstasy filled him that he leap up and down across the mountain, shouting and screaming in the sense of freedom he has. He was so wound up that he decided to blow the mountain up. What's the use in keeping bad memories? And just as he did, which didn't take much effort…just one rasengan at the volcano's [didn't I mention that it's a volcano?] chamber to stir up the magma and boom, bye bye. Then, he noticed the monk making his way down the volcano. Jumping from branches to branches with great speed, but the magma is catching up.

This is bad. He can't stop the magma from rising. Any moments now and it'll erupt. So he rushed towards the monk [he still has questions he needs to answer] and carried him to safety. A huge explosion reverberated towards the two and it almost knocked Naruto out of his feet.

When the shockwaves are over, he looked at the bundle of layers of clothing in his arms. It was wriggling and struggling like he's trying to get out, the monk is also saying something, with all his mouth closing and opening, definitely forming words, probably curses, right at him, but he can't hear anything. The blast took a huge toll to his hypersensitive hearing, but he knew it wouldn't last.

And when it came back, he wished it didn't.

"-op bullshitting me, let go, you worthless piece of –" it continued like this for a minute or two and the monk looks like he haven't run out of curses to shove at his face. Irritated he stopped him from yapping, Naruto knew that the kiss might be too much but he did silence him, didn't he?

Come on, his ears feel like one of Deidara's masterpiece exploded inside his ear canal, this added torture is very not much welcome.

And it's not much of a kiss! More like a head butt with only the lips in contact. He can already see blood cursing through the monk's chipped lips.

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><p>End of Chapter 1<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

**Fanfic: Naruto**

**Title: Epic Failure: Foxy king**

**SasukexXxNaruto**

**Genre: Yaio**

**Disclaimer: You know the drill…**

**Chapter 3: Yeah right…**

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><p>Torture. That's what the monk thought. Is this what the god's really planned on him? Did he do something tremendously horrific of a crime that he needs to be punished even at this lifetime? The fox taste like stale vinegar for cryingoutloud! And he's naked!<p>

"Of course, you think a piece of fabric will be left after a century?" The obnoxious beast said as it tried one of his extra clothing.

"Don't care, and please stop following me!" he glared daggers towards Naruto

"Can't help it. You're my master and I still have to finish the mission for my sins to wash away and become a Hokage."

"Again, I don't fucking care!"

"You know, for a monk, you have a dirty mouth…care for me to clean it up for you?" Naruto teased, amused when the daggers aimed at him doubled. Oh he can get used to this.

"I have a name, Sanzang."

"Nah, I'll call you Sasuke."

"Sasuke? What for?"

Naruto shrugged his shoulders and replied "Dunno, maybe because your face screams 'Sasuke'. I mean, look, master Sasuke, suits you better." Actually he just had no plan on calling the teme Master, but since he's officially his disciple, he has no choice. So better call him by other name than his own, right? I'm such a genius. [yeah right]

"So anyway, why did you let me escaped? You sound pretty convincing about not wanting me." Okay, that doesn't sound right.

The newly-named Sasuke just stared at him in complete total shock. "Say that again?"

"What? I didn't say anything." He replied, feigning innocence.

"You called me Master…" Oh that part, go figure, a major ego, great.

"Of course master. I am officially one of your disciples." Gaah, each word suffocating him but he didn't let it show. Truth be told, he's in the disadvantage, at least let the teme figure to what extent. He won't be the one giving him the reins complete with a manual, even if that damn monk is already grasping it.

A smug smile spread to Sasuke's face. "A mistake, that Tsunade point me at the volcano's summit but all I found was an old seal. I guess I shouldn't have taken it."

"So you're saying that the seal is broken way before you saw me?"

"Yeah, about a weak or so."

"A week?" Naruto can't believe it. He stood for all the crap the monk loaded to him and all those time he was actually free to strangle the living daylights out of him? "That's it! I'm leaving!"

Sasuke watch as Naruto stormed away from him then, someone knocked him from behind. "Aw, what's that for?"

The Goddess Tsunade [how she loved that title] appeared angry like hell. "That's for being an idiot. You have no idea how hard it is to make Naruto wear that costume?"

"And you think this get up don't suck?"

"Shut up brat! Just go get him back and finish the mission!"

"Like hell! That dobe will be the death of me!"

"How do you suppose this NaruSasu will turn up without Naruto?"

"This what?"

Oops, she slipped "Nevermind that…I have a plan." Tsunade replied with an evil grin which is enough to make even our stoic Sasuke to shiver.


End file.
